Mother's Day

Six years ago I sat in the 1st grade classroom- on those tiny little chairs that don't really fit the bottoms of Mamas- of my oldest child Julia. We had a Mother's Day Celebration. These are always so sweet and the teachers do such a great job of making us Moms cry. So I was already teary when I realized that someday I would be sitting at one of these for my other daughter (we had just put in our application for Jaida) and motherhood would take on an even deeper meaning. Well, little did I know that 6 years later I would have 2 adopted children and I would be sitting on those tiny little chairs again in the classroom of my son. We arrived today and the children were all seated quietly, I don't know how she does that, awaiting the arrival of their Mommy. There was a lovey table adorned with flowers and goodies. There was a shelf nearby with gift bags. We found our tiny little seat and on it was a crown our child had made for us to wear. Xin had the biggest smile on his face and he kept waving and blowing me kisses. They started to sing some songs about Mommys and how they tuck us in at night, give us kisses, give us hugs.......oh how it hit me. The tears began. This little guy had only had a Mommy a few short weeks last year this time. Wow! I am his Mommy and he is singing to me and smiling at me and blowing me kisses and I am wearing his crown. God gave me the privilege to mother him. I can't say I have done it all right over the past year. I have second guessed myself a thousand times in trying to figure out what this little boy needs and how to give it to him. But I am his Mommy. God chose me. Xin has a Mommy now. He can celebrate this day now and he will always have someone to blow kisses to and make hand print art for. Adoption is amazing!

Motherhood is amazing! I started this role somewhat later in life than most. I never really liked the career thing. Marketing major, sales job, good money, meeting lots of people....but empty really inside. Then they handed me Julia. I knew this was what God created me for-well, maybe not right away, maybe after the c-section pain subsided, the mastitis went away and she slept most of the night. What a privilege and an honor it is to be a mother. God blessed me with 4 children and I could not be more fulfilled. I have a wonderful mother who blazed a clear trail for me and showed me that it is the greatest job of all! So to my wonderful mother, my mother-in-law, my sister, sister-in-laws, friends, I wish you a very Happy Mother's Day and a heart filled with gratitude for the position God has placed us all as keepers of His creations.

Popsicles and popcorn.......

what more do you really need??????

Easter Weekend 2011

We explored the Farmer's Market on the river, attended a soccer game, saw an AWESOME movie-"Soul Surfer" and enjoyed a wonderful day together as a family on Easter Sunday- complete with hidden eggs and Easter baskets, church, too much food and even some swimming. It was wonderful!

1 year ago today........

One year ago today a little boy walked into a big room holding a man's hand he had never met before. He was introduced to a group of people he had never met before. These people were all staring at him and snapping pictures. These people looked different, smelled different and sounded different than any he had ever seen. They kissed him, hugged him, stared at him and one of them even kept petting his head. They gave him a bag of goodies, toys, books, cars, and candy. They talked to him for awhile and then took his hand and led him to the door. A nice lady explained something to him in Chinese and he froze and started to cry. He did not want to leave the safety of the building. He literally walked out of one life and into another with only the clothes on his little body.

His new life had begun.

I reached down to pick him up and carry him out to the waiting van. He did not know how to be carried. His legs were straight as a board and his arms hung limp. He cried. He cried all the way back to the hotel and he kept mumbling something over and over again. Our guide told us he was saying "I want to go back."

Our 3 weeks in China were long and hard and filled with all kinds of emotion. Much like this last year has been. We have seen so many firsts: petting a dog, walking in the grass barefoot, going to the beach, riding a bike, swimming, riding in a boat, going to Disney world, eating popsicles, going to a movie, getting a bedtime story accompanied by a kiss goodnight, attending soccer games, baseball games, and basketball games and pre-school and church, experiencing the joy of all the holidays we celebrate including his very own birthday. Xin has learned an incredible amount of things in a year: the English language, all his letters and their sounds, how to count to 100, ride a bike, swim, shoot baskets, do 100 piece puzzles, put together a Lego set all by himself, and the list goes on. We have been tremendously blessed by his good health reports.All of his medical needs are really non-issues now.

But we have had our share of struggles too. We have had really, really bad days where there really wasn't one of us left tearless. I have learned many things about myself and some of them not so good. I have been on my knees and humbled countless times. I have even gotten angry at God, in a selfish spoiled brat kind of way. "God we stepped out in faith and now look at this.....this is hard and I don't want to do it! I can't do it!" I have learned God calls us to hard things. But He is there, in those hard places. 8 months ago when we prayed, Xin made noises or tried to disrupt the prayer. Now he adds things to the prayers and tells us the things he knows about Jesus. He will give kisses and "I love you's" unsolicited now. He will obey...half the time. He is learning to live in a family....still. We are still pulling down 4 years worth of walls built up strong around that little heart. At times my compassion and sorrow for his earlier life brings me to tears and I feel ashamed of the fact that I would expect more from this little guy. On those days when compassion wanes and my patience seems gone, my heart feels heavy. I ache for the peace that once was. But God placed this child in our family and He sustains us and He loves us and He will provide. We will continue to grow and continue to love Xin and help him transition until he has no choice but to see that we are not going away, we are his family and we love him and this IS where he belongs. Isn't that what God does for us? He loves us.......likable or not. He loves us and pursues us until we fall into His outstretched arms saying "ahhhhh this IS where I belong!"

Happy Forever Family Day Xin! We love you and we are glad you are a part of our family and we look to this next year praying that you will feel safe, secure and most of all loved!

The Easter Bunny

This was the conversation that ensued on the 1 mile drive to preschool this morning:

Xin: "My feet are growing Mommy?"

Me: "Yes"

X: "Mei Mei your feet are growing and you need that Easter Bunny to bring you some new flip flops." (In the past E.B. has brought Jaida flip flops in her basket)

Jaida: "Well, my feet still need to grow more Xin."

X: "Mei Mei, are the Easter Bunnies (note the plural) allowed in the stores?"

J:"No Xin he have those shoes at he house."

X:"I talkin bout like Target and Wal-Mart?"

J:"No, Easter Bunny has all that stuff at he house."

End of conversation.

Spring Break 2011

The words Spring and Break in the same sentence usually conjure up images of warm weather, flowers blooming and a break form the usual routine, sometimes accompanied by a trip out of town. Well, here in Augusta we have this "small" golf tournament during Spring Break and most Augustans rent their homes out and leave this jammed packed town for other more enjoyable locations. Unfortunately, when one member of our family, who shall remain nameless, works for this fine golf club, circumstances are quite different. In the past we have rented our house only to have to rent something smaller in town so that unnamed person could go to work. That left the rest of us here with all friends gone, lots of crazy traffic, and Mommy flying solo with kids for MANY days. Unnamed person departs the house at 5:45 only to return after 9:00pm and lets just say, it ain't a lot of "break" for anyone!

This year we tried something different. The kids and I left for our favorite beach and some Spring Break fun. We had a GREAT time, even though we really missed Daddy! We played in the sand, made castles, swam in the heated pool, ate lots of junk food, went out to dinner, hung out and came home quite refreshed! We even made it out to the tournament a couple of times at the end of the week and did get to see the "elusive one" in the flesh! We decided from now on we will most certainly escape to the beach!

Happy 70th Birthday Mom/Nana!

I was blessed with an AMAZING Mom and we just celebrated her 70th birthday! I can't imagine my life without her and I am grateful for all the love and sacrifices she has supplied over the years. She is adored!!!! I love you Mom. You are a blessing and I wish you a very Happy 70th Birthday! May God shower His love upon you now and over this next year.