Sunday, July 24, 2011

Control

I like control. I like to be in control. As someone who happens to be a type A personality I thrive on having control.I am a fish out of water if I do not have some bit of control over my situation. With international adoption you/I do NOT have control. Any semblance of control. Completely 100% out of my control. You would think by adoption #3 this fact would sink in. It hasn't. But I decided many weeks ago to give adoption #3 to God. Give it all to Him. I told Him I knew I would try to take it back numerous times and I prayed He would not let me have it. Honestly, why in the world would I think I knew better than God and that I could control 2 governments myself better than the sovereign Lord? He created the universe.He raised His son from the dead.He parted the Red Sea. He created me...and my child I am not so patiently waiting for. He knows the number of hairs on my head! Me? Well, I can keep a house pretty tidy, run some miles, love on my kids, cook a mean bowl of popcorn(the old fashioned way), do some crafty sort of things,.....hhhmmm, none of those things seem to be in the same league as the BIG "stuff" God did/does. Why? Why then is it so very hard to let Him have this and just sit back in peace and wait for Him to do His thing in His perfect timing? Knowing full well that everything, EVERYTHING He does, is done in love.

We stopped after church to get some Fire House subs and while we were waiting in the car for Will, Jaida and Xin wanted to know if they could walk home from there.( yes, it took awhile) I told them it was a few miles away and it was 105 degrees outside. To which they replied, "But we know the way." Really? So I asked them which way they would walk. They proceeded to tell me all kinds of directions. I listened. "So can we?" I told them that if they were to walk the way they wanted to go, then they would have ended up very far from our house. Very tired, hot and probably very lost. I should listen to my own words. I am like the 4 yr old who "thinks" she knows best, and knows all the twists and turns, when really I know nothing. I am the 4 yr old who without a loving Father to drive me home would end up lost, tired and disappointed. So, DAILY, I try to give it to Him. I want SO badly to call and check on paperwork status, to look at the charts on line that predict dates to which I might get my child....you know cause that will actually get me my child faster. But I am learning a valuable lesson He obviously thinks I need to learn. TRUST in Him. In Him alone.Let Him be God. Let Him show me His full majesty. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will make your paths straight."Proverbs 3:5-6 I want so desperately to feel that peace in knowing He has it all in His loving hands. He has shown me several "signs" that give me the reassurance I am so craving but it seems I "forget" quite quickly and want to take it back from Him. He is so patient with me. Forgive me Lord. I am trying and I really do want you to have it. So I will pray again tomorrow. And the next day. And the next. He and I will walk this path together and hopefully my heart will learn, truly learn what trusting completely in Him feels like, without involvement from Amy's charts, calls, emails, predictions, etc. Thank you Lord for loving me enough to show me your ways.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Forever Family Day...4 years ago today








THEN and..........





NOW!!!!!!









Four years ago today I was handed a sweaty, screaming, bald, cone-headed 9 month old little girl. Her name was Ning Fei fei. There on the 20th floor of a building (about 120 degrees) in, Nanchang China, the civil affairs office, I became a mother for the 3rd time. She became Jaida Ruth Hatcher...beloved daughter, sister, niece, cousin, granddaughter. This little Chinese firecracker showed me how I could love a child not born from my womb but from my heart. Oh the joy she has brought us all. We love her unbelievably much! We celebrated Forever Family Day today with lots of fun and of course food...we are a food lovin family if you haven't figured that out by now! We had little goodies this morning, watched Tangled this afternoon, ate dinner at PF Chang's (Chinese of course) followed by cupcakes and stories and lots of hugs and kisses. I truly forget that I did not birth this sweet child. I find it hard to believe she had a life before us that I know nothing about except for a few pictures taken on a disposable camera. How blessed we are that God chose us to be her Forever Family. I love you with all my heart ladybug! Happy 4 years!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

My baby is 15 months old today.



How I wish I could hold her and tell her how much she is loved. 15 months without the love of a family......too long. How I pray God whispers our love into her ear and into her heart! We love you Louisa.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

More Festivities!







My Mom, aka Nana, always decorates so pretty for celebrations.




The beautiful birthday girl!



Nana's homemade cake...YUM!




Gift time!



Friday night's pool party.




What a GREAT group of girls!!!




The not-so-homemade cupcakes...boy were they good though!



Happy Birthday to you........



So sometimes around here we tend to S T R E T C H out the birthday celebrations. You know, family party, day-of celebration, celebration with friends, etc. So these pics are from last weekend with the "fam" and Friday night's party with friends.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

13 THIRTEEN 13

First Mother's Day-10 months old!



Today




Just born!



2 weeks old




1st birthday




2nd birthday


5th birthday




10th birthday-with her BFF Haley



13th birthday!


Julia turned 13 today. How did that happen? I have a teenager! Doesn't 12 sound so much younger than 13? It seems like yesterday she was a baby but in a way, seems like a long time ago too. I have to admit, I have been a bit teary thinking of this day. We gathered at the lake this past weekend to celebrate with family and I started crying as we sang Happy Birthday. I did pretty good today though and we had a wonderful day! She is having a swim and dinner party tomorrow night with some of her friends to continue this big "teen" celebration.


Julia entered this world with eyes wide open and a zest for life. A great preview of what was to come. This precious 8lb 14oz bundle rocked my world! Life took on a whole new meaning. Love took on a whole new meaning. How young and dumb I truly was! But Julia put up with all my rookie moves and has turned out just fine! She has always been a joy and truly an easy kid. And I have found it a privilege and an honor to be her mother. She was my first baby. The one that paved the way for all the others. I have enjoyed every stage of her 13 years.It is a blessing to be her mother! As we enter this new stage called the "teenage years" I look forward to growing our relationship in a whole new dimension. I love this child with all my heart. I love everything she stands for, everything about her....especially her heart. On this day I hope she knows just what she means to all of us. Just how very much she is loved. Happy 13th Birthday my sweet Julia!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

The Birds and The Bees

I caught this conversation between Jaida and Xin as I was making lunch. They were looking at a photo album of when Julia was born.

Xin: Jaida do you kiss after the baby comes, like after you get married?

Jaida: Well Xin, after you get married you decide if you want to have a baby in your tummy or you want to adopt a baby.

Xin: So you kiss then?

Jaida: The Mom gives the Dad a kiss after the baby comes because you know, the Mom doesn't really know what.....well, the Dad knows....and the Mom waits for the Dad and then the baby comes and they kiss. *(At this point they are looking of a picture of me coming off of general anesthesia-very hard delivery- and hugging and kissing Will who has newborn Julia in his arms)*

Xin: So Jaida they kiss like after they get married?

Jaida: Yes Xin that's what you do!

These two crack me up! At least they have the marriage before the baby part right! There is also a picture my Mom snapped of Will and I kissing after we got Xin in the orphanage as well as some wedding pictures of us kissing of course. They LOVE to see us kiss. They giggle and laugh and chant "kiss on lips, kiss on lips"....whatever floats your boat!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Happy 4th of July!























We always celebrate 4th of July at my parent's lake house. It is a tradition. We had a much smaller crowd this year but had a great time! We swam, went tubing and water skiing, ate...ALOT, played games, painted rocks and ate some more, did a few fireworks and then got rained out as a huge storm blew in.Thanks Nana and Poppy for hosting! And Happy Birthday America!