Wednesday, January 13, 2010


As in Philippians 4:13. This is one of my favorite verses. Simple and to the point. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

I have been conjuring up this post for some time so I apologize in advance if I ramble. I think I have to write this down so that I can refer to it and my convictions on the days I am feeling weak. I read an incredible book about 8 or 9 years ago by Chip Ingram entitled "Holy Ambition". It changed my way of thinking. In an unjust manner, I will sum it up in a a few inadequate words- it tells you to get out of your comfort zone and make a difference for God. So began my quest.

There have been some times when I wish I had not read that book! I like comfortable. Don't we all?But each time a leap of faith was taken, I experienced my God in a new and wonderful way.

I heard Him loud and clear for many months about adopting again. It took me some time, but we did obey. Scared, questioning, doubting, but obedient. So many things about this adoption have worked in a way that could only be God and His mighty hands orchestrating the process. I grew less scared. We are now weeks, ok maybe 2 months if I am really honest, away from holding our precious son in our arms. I missed him so much over the holidays and there are times I don't think I can wait another second to actually touch him. Then the "what ifs" hit! Those things that lurk below the surface ready to shatter your faith. Those things that make me ask "Why are we doing this?" Now these "what ifs" are all very real possibilities so I don't want to stick my head in the sand but these "nastys" are NOT from God. They are there to try to lure me away from my loving Father and His promises. So I am wrestling right now with all the unpleasant, scary, challenging things that could come with an older child adoption, a child with some medical issues. Life is comfortable right now. Ahhhhh! In our comfort zones we don't need to depend on God because it is well, comfy! It is outside that delightful spot ,where we are hanging on by a thread, that we depend on God..... "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13. So I have been clinging to that promise here lately. Whatever comes our way with this child God has ordained into our lives, I can do with His help. He will equip me for this call. Gosh when I write all this down it sure does seem simple. So why do I still doubt and worry? What new aspect of God does He want me to see about himself through THIS experience? That excites me. But what will I/we/Xin have to go through to get to the other side? Where we go, "Wow, that was tough, but God was right there all the way and we certainly learned a thing or two!" Only time will tell and I can not sit in my comfort zone and be useful to God. I am jumping in. So, fears... GO AWAY! I've got the BIG GUY on my side!!!!!!

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