Last full day at the orphanage

I don't know how I feel about today. Like most days here, there are so many emotions running through me I don't know what to feel or think. One thing I do know…..I am worn! Physically tired, mentally tired and emotionally drained would all describe me well right now. As we went upstairs to the kids today the big kids were all cleaned up, new clothes, and pretty close to odor-free! They were jumping for joy to see us and it makes your heart leap. Some of these kids have come so far in the past 8 days. Annie, one of the team members said it well, "It is so neat to see some of them come out of their shell and their personalities displayed after just a few days of love." So what would more do for them? But yet, I want to come home. My heart can't take the heaviness anymore. And what about the kids that need some advocating for? What will happen when we leave? I pray Charlotte and Sarah get the surgery they need. Who will kiss the sweet little cleft face of Angelina's and get teary when her entire face smiles, or hold ittly bitty Minnie and sing to her? And Lulu's nanny, who we FINALLY named Leigh, is gone on family matters. I didn't get to say goodbye to her or hug her one last time. And I can't think of kissing those babies and kids goodbye one last time. Talk about heavy heart!!!!!! And then there are the nannies and staff who work tirelessly day after day, how do you thank them for what they do?

We had dinner at the orphanage tonight and then took photos with everyone and laughed and cried. Already the crying started. Oh how I dread tomorrow! They have said some of the kids cry when we leave. Ray, little dear sweet Ray, he is one that cries. That will break my heart. Will they think we have deserted them too? I have always heard the question asked about short term mission trips…does it hurt more than it helps because you come and then you go away? But really and truly, like I said in an earlier post, love can NEVER be wasted. It will always leave behind something good. God , our creator is love and He commands us to love one another.

Most of the team is young. I am the old lady…oh well someone has to be right? But these girls jumped right in, held babies and played with kids and babies with severe disabilities and needs. They loved hard. One has been advocating for a blind boy for awhile, trying to get him to a special school. Wow! How proud her parents must be! And Megan, who has held onto the hope of getting these heart girls to the care they need, she is 18. Another has loved on some very special babies and given them a little spark. They all have done a marvelous job! It is a beautiful thing to watch!!! We will all go home with different lessons learned, special memories and things God has engraved upon our hearts. We each had a different purpose here. No two the same. And hopefully, we will each take these things we have gathered from this place and go home, go back to our lives and not forget. And make a difference. Even if it is in the life of just 1!

The faces that will haunt me and cry out to me NOT to forget: